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[[Category:Songs]] |
[[Category:Songs]] |
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| + | [[Category:Jeff Winger]] |
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| + | [[Category:Britta Perry]] |
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| + | [[Category:Abed Nadir]] |
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| + | [[Category:Annie Edison]] |
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| + | [[Category:Shirley Bennett]] |
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| + | [[Category:Buzz Hickey]] |
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Revision as of 20:31, 23 April 2014
 I am the mad hatter, if hats were butts. I am neither left nor right. I am the space between. To me you are all like ants marching to class, freaks on parade."
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| — Ass Crack Bandit reveals himself to be a Dave fan |
In the study group's fifth year at Greendale, the school faces the return of the campus assailant known only as the "Ass Crack Bandit". A clue to the culprit emerges when notes he sent to the schools administration bragging about his crimes reveal him to be a Dave Mathews Band fan. After the "Save Greendale Committee investigates, a surprising suspect is apprehended: Star-Burns who supposedly died years ago. A celebration is held afterwards and during the party the song "Ants Marching" is heard. When Jeff finds out that Star-Burns doesn't know the title of the song he realizes he isn't the Ass Crack Bandit. The song is first heard in the Season Five episode "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics". It is played a second time by Star-Burns in "Basic Story" after the school is positively appraised by insurance investigator Ronald Mohammad. It is played again by Star-Burns when the Save Greendale Committee prevents the Subway corporation from taking over the school.
The song with lyrics
Lyrics
He wakes up in the morning
Does his teeth bite to eat and he's rolling
Never changes a thing
The week ends the week begins
She thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But we never say a thing
These crimes between us grow deeper
Goes to visit his mommy
She feeds him well his concerns
He forgets them
And remembers being small
Playing under the table and dreaming
Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die
Driving in on this highway
All these cars and upon the sidewalk
People in every direction
No words exchanged
No time to exchange
And all the little ants are marching
Red and black antennas waving
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way
Candyman tempting the thoughts of a
Sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss
Program cutting the corners
Loose end, loose end, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
Cut, cut, cut, cut
Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die