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Chicken Fingers

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Chicken fingers

  Chicken Fingers  
First appearance: Contemporary American PoultryOwned by: Greendale — Used by: Star-Burns, Abed Nadir, Garrett
Purpose: To use as trade for special favors— Made by: covering chicken meat in breading before deep fat frying it

If God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it were cool to eat God, he'd be a Chicken Finger.

Deep fat frying
Chicken fingers being fried
The most popular item on the cafeteria menu at Greendale, Chicken Fingers eventually became more than just that a culinary delight for the student body: it became an addiction. This desire for breaded poultry and deep fat fried concoction created an opportunity- seized by Abed- to create a syndicate and take control of its distribution. The food's first appearance was in the Season One episode "Contemporary American Poultry".


It began with a craving that could not be denied, one that corrupted innocents, nearly destroyed friendships and created a powerful organization that once ruled supreme over the Greendale campus. A disbarred former attorney, now the head of a makeshift family, convinced his associates that playing by the rules was no good. He had a beef with a facia bruta who was breaking those rules for his own personal gain. The cafone was hording the chicken fingers for himself and a select privileged few. The boss proposed that the crew dispose of this mortadella and replace him with one of their own, so that they could have their fair share of the wealth. The ex-lawyer's powers of persuasion easily convinced the rest of the crew which included a divorced mother of two, an ex-jock, a former prescription drug addict, a figurehead C.E.O., and a rebel without a clue.

BW Greendale sign
The addiction spread throughout the campus.
For this assignment, the boss decide to use his most trusted consigliere to act as the mole. The crew implemented his plan flawlessly, and their inside man took over distribution of the chicken fingers once the stunad was taken out. Unfortunately, what the Don hadn't foreseen was that by putting the mole in the position of power over the chicken fingers, he also handed him control over the group as well. The boss had a beef with the cugine when it was found out he was skimming chicken fingers to give as a bribe to an associate. However, when the arrangement was shown to be beneficial to the crew, the Don was chased out. The young turk had a vision far beyond his former boss' original plan. He created a borgata utilizing the best talents of his crew.

Starburns mugshot
The stunad
The organization began lording it over the rest of the empty suits on campus and enjoying the spoils that their new Capo di tutti capi rewarded them with. An unexpected ally then came to the ex-lawyer with a plan which could possibly take down the new boss and restore the original pecking order. Despite the ousted Don's dislike of the jamook he reluctantly accepted his help. Meanwhile the crew stopped showing the proper respect to their new leader. Having the power and influence, along with wearing it was not enough for them. Each wiseguy began making more outrageous demands forgetting their place within the outfit. The new boss wasn't having any of it and went completely oobatz.

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A candid photo of the organization taken years later
He decided a mock execution was called for and none of the capos were spared: The former drug addict's prize possession was mutilated almost beyond recognition, the ex-jock's beloved pet was set free from it's cage and let loose in the wild to fend for itself, the C.E.O.'s entertainment supply was abruptly and summarily cut off, the ex-activist was put into a messy situation when her locks were gummed up, and the divorced mother of two was forced to watch as she was betrayed. After the shakedown, the capos in desperation sought out the help their old boss in fear of what their Don might do next.

BW Abed mafia
The Consigliere later ironically role play as a capo

External linkEdit

  1. Mafia speak
  2. Italian Mob Lingo
  3. Mob speak

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