Dean Pelton is hosting a ceremony in the cafeteria to welcome a new Subway restaurant. Shirley watches with disappointment having lost out on a sandwich shop due to the franchise. Abed mentions that he and his roommates have been displaced too because their apartment is being fumigated. They are all staying at the school; Annie is in a sleep lab, and Troy and Abed are in the dorms with plans to construct a pillow fort. Pierce comes across information in the Greendale bylaws and calls the Dean over. The rules states that a Greendale student must have partial ownership of any commercial business on campus. A young man then introduces himself as Subway and explains that he is both a student and corporate representitive.
Later, Jeff is following Annie and asking her to let him in on the sleep lab as he believes it to be another blow off class. He is surprised to learn she has a locker as he was unaware the school had any. He and Annie locate his assigned locker and find an old letter addressed to Jeff from someone named "Kim" calling him an insensitive jerk. Back in the cafeteria, Shirley and Pierce ask Britta for a favor: they want her to get close to Subway and find any dirt on him. Elsewhere, Troy and Abed are working on their pillow fort when Dean Pelton drops by with some news. He just learned that the Guinness Book of World Records has a listing for the largest pillow or blanket fort and encourages them to go for it.
|Troy is suggests to Abed that they switch to making another blanket fort to win. Abed shoots his idea down saying he doesn't really care about official recognition and just wants to make something that's cool. Upset that his idea was dismissed so easily, Troy leaves to get a drink and is approached by Vice Dean Robert Laybourne. Still eager to get him enrolled at the school, Laybourne tries to ingratiate himself with Troy by mentioning his and Abed's favorite show "Inspector Spacetime". He goes on to compare Troy and Abed's relationship to that of the Inspector and his partner Reggie. He notes the inbalance in the relationship as Reggie is little more than a naive, obedient lapdog to the latter. Laybourne abruptly leaves while Troy considers what he said.
Jeff and Annie track down Kim's locker where they are approached by a male student who informs them that Kim passed away recently. In the cafeteria, Britta is in line when she runs into Subway and finds herself attracted to his altruistic personality and their mutual love of the novel "1984". Pierce and Shirley notice them talking and assume Britta has agreed to help them. Later in the library, Britta finds a copy of "1984" and finds a Subway sandwich wrapper marking an entry inside the book. Subway appears next to her quoting the somewhat romantic passage. Britta becomes even more enamored with him after he tells her his dream to open a shelter for handicapped animals after his contract with the Subway corporation is over.
Back at the pillow fort, Troy is angry at Abed feeling that he is not an equal partner in their relationship as Laybourne suggested. Troy complains that Abed turned down pursuing the Guinness World Record and his blanket fort idea without a second thought. Abed tells him he is free to go ahead and make the blanket fort as long as he keeps it separate from the pillow fort. Abed is confused when he sees Troy leave upset. Meanwhile at the student lounge, Annie finds Jeff depressed about the fact that he can now never apologize to Kim for whatever he did to her. Annie suggests that he at least apologize to her locker, so he gets some closure. In the library, Pierce and Shirley corner Britta and ask if she found out any dirt on Subway.
|Britta is evasive, and Pierce suspects she might be falling for the guy. Shirley regrets asking her to do this for them and asks her to stop. Pierce agrees but adds that she needs to do one last thing and plant a bug on Subway. In the study room, the construction of the two forts meet in the center of the room. Pelton shows up and informs Troy that a Guinness representative is on his way to the school as Garrett informs them that the pillow fort stands in the way of setting the world record. Pelton tells Abed to destroy it which he agrees to do after getting confirmation from Troy. Inside the pillow fort, Britta meets up with Subway and comes clean about acting as a spy for Pierce and Shirley. The two end up kissing but unbeknownst to her is that Pierce had planted a bug on her and is recording their illicit rendezvous.
|Elsewhere, Jeff and Annie show up at Kim's locker, so he can get some closure. The student who told them about Kim's death shows up and reveals himself to actually be Kim; he had made up that story to get back at Jeff. In their freshman year at Greendale, they hung out a lot, but Jeff was so conceited that he kept forgetting who he was each time they met. This prompted him to write the letter, and Jeff apologizes. As the two of them hug it out, Annie is angered having believed that she was teaching Jeff a lesson about his poor treatment of women. She snaps at both of them before walking off in a huff. In the Pillow Fort, Abed is about to activate the self-destruct mechanism but is stopped by the sudden appearance of Vice Dean Laybourne.
|Laybourne suggests to Abed that he not destroy his dream so easily. He tells him not give into conformity and instead set a trailblazing example for others to follow. In Dean Pelton's office, Britta arrives as a representative from the Subway corporation listens to the recording Pierce made of her having sex with the Subway the "Corpohumaniod". The rep has no problem with their relationship until he hears what he considers a deviant act being performed. He strips "Subway" of his identity calling him by his real name "Rick" and contacts Men In Black who burst into the office. Britta proclaims her love for Subway/Rick as they take him away.
|Elsewhere, Annie finds Jeff in the hallway and apologizes to him for her reaction at Kim. Jeff seems unaware of what Annie is talking about and asks who Kim is. They are then interrupted by Britta who is dejected over the loss of Subway. She notices a passing student who resembles Subway and calls out to him. It turns out to be another "Corpohumanoid" hired by the company to replace Rick. He passes himself off as the original "Subway" and quickly leaves. Garrett then arrives and alerts them to a situation unfolding in the the study room. Once there, they find the Troy's blanket fort followers and Abed's pillow fort followers facing off aggresively against each other.
|Dean Pelton is in the middle of the ruckus trying to resolve whose fort should be the only one standing before the Guiness rep arrives. When both sides refuse to back down, Pelton summarily decides that Troy's blanket fort will stay and Abed's pillow fort will be dismantled. He moves towards the pillow fort only to be stopped by Star-Burns. Angered at being refered to by his nickname, he throws a pillow at Pelton which hits the entrance to the blanket fort. A domino effect ensues as an entire section ends up collapses. Chaos then breaks out as the blanket fort citizens rush at the pillow fort dwellers. Abed and Troy eventually manage to get their followers under control. The two former best friends share one last look as both sides make a strategic retreat.
At the Greendale Air Conditioning Repair School, Murray reports to Robert Laybourne that his plan worked, and Abed's Pillow Fort and Troy's Blanket Fort are about to go to war. Laybourne is pleased with the news, hoping that without Abed holding him back, Troy will accept his destiny and join the A/C school. He then picks up a trumpet and leaves for band practice.
- Annie confronting Jeff laying on the couch is parallel to Jeff confronting Annie laying on the couch in the episode Geography of Global Conflict.
- Abed is about to activate a self destruct mechanism for his pillow fort similar to one he and Troy used for their blanket fort in "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design".
- That just happened: In "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts", Shirley and Pierce attempted to convince Dean Pelton to let them open a sandwich shop in the cafeteria at the former location of the "Hot & Brown" coffee shop. The school board decided to go with a Subway franchise instead.
- Previously: Troy and Abed previously built a blanket fort in the Season Two episode "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design. Annie alludes to Jeff's poor treatment of her following their kiss in the Season One finale "Pascal's Triangle Revisited" but Jeff is oblivious to her obvious resentment.
- First appearance: Harry Jefferson makes his debut in this episode.
- Returning students: Three members of the Greendale Gooffaws return: Mark Milot, Buzz Foster and Linda Greene. Leonard, Garrett, and Star-Burns make appearances as well.
- Returning faculty: Vice Dean Robert Laybourne returns along with his subordinate Murray.
- School uniforms: Troy and Abed wear the same pajamas from the Season Two episode "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design".
- School supplies: The student lockers are introduced this episode.
- Identity crisis: The "Corpohumanoid" Subway is stripped of his title and returned to his original identity "Rick".
- This must be the place: The cafeteria, the student lounge, the dorm rooms , New Fluffy Town, Dean Pelton's office, and Group Study Room F.
- Awww!: Annie "Awww!"'s when she finds out Subway is only a week old.
- NOOOOO!: Annie demonstrates how she fake screams for the sleep study lab.
- Catchphrase: Subway/Rick and Subway #2 both say the phrase "Eat fresh!"
- Man-crush: After Pelton discovers that the student body is in the Army reserves he places his hand on Jeff's shoulder, let's it linger and asks that they all pray for world peace.
- Double entendre: The title of the episode refers to a specific sexual act which gets Subway/Rick fired from his job when his boss finds out about it.
- Pansexual imp: The Dean mentions he was googling record lengths of stuff.
- Shout out!: Kim is called Jane Austen by Annie.
- Product placement: The Subway franchise is featured prominently in this episode, Troy bribes the Dean wih a coupon for 20% off at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
- Well read: Both Britta and Subway express their love for the George Orwell novel "Nineteen Eighty-Four".
- Name that tune: Abed hums "Daybreak" as he continues construction of his pillow fort.
- Up against the wall: The episode ends with Abed staring straight into the camera and saying "To Be Continued!"
- “Ah, Brit-ta, you are a, uh, progressive women of a more...liberated looseness...you could get close to Subway and find out some dirt on him.”— Shirley
- “Corporate espionage! I like it. Microphones hidden in lipstick, lipstick hidden in microphones and the deadliest weapon of them all...The Penis Flytrap!.”— Pierce
- “Okay this conversation is over! I am not a whore! And, not that I've done the math, but if I were I'd be the super classy kind that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.”— Britta
- “Wonder what you did to make her so mad? Maybe the two of you made out and then you forgot about her!”— Annie
- “Annie! That's what you think of me?! I don't make out with forgettable women!”— Jeff
|Season Three Episodes|
1. "Biology 101"
12. "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts"
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