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Student ID


	Pierce Hawthorne
	Portrayed by:	Chevy Chase
	First appearance:	Pilot
	Last appearance:	Advanced Introduction to Finality
	Birth date:	1945
	Hometown:	Cheyenne, Wyoming
	Major:	Undecided
	Occupation:	Part-owner of Shirley's Sandwiches, Formerly CEO of Hawthorne Wipes
	Family:	Anastasia Hawthorne (mother, deceased), Cornelius Hawthorne (father, deceased), Gilbert Lawson (half-brother)

If I let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn't be here. That thing that some men call failure, I call living... breakfast... and I'm not leaving until I clean out the buffet

— Pierce Hawthorne , Beginner Pottery

Piercinald Anastasia "Pierce" Hawthorne, is a bumbling and libidinous over-the-hill baby-boomer whose family invented- and became wealthy- manufacturing and marketing Hawthorne Wipes. He attends Greendale Community College because he wants to become a Jack-of-all-trades and because he has no one else to spend his time with. He is portrayed by Chevy Chase. Pierce is the 66-year-old (stated in Advanced Dungeons & Dragons) CEO of an apparently successful Moist Towelette company. Although the company has supposedly brought him much material wealth, it resulted in Pierce paying little attention to familial matters. He has been married seven times and has accumulated over thirty step-children because of his multiple matrimonies. He tries to expand his horizons by traveling, performing magic, and enrolling at Greendale CC. ("[[1]]")

At GreendaleEdit

Pierce enrolled at Greendale because he wanted to break out of his small moist towelette centered world and explore life's possibilities. He strongly believes that you can teach an old man new tricks, and he also is out to teach some of Greendale's younger students a thing or two about life. He wants to take a wide variety of classes because he is "looking for an associates degree in being a Jack of All Trades." Pierce has helped The Dean with improving Greendale by helping create the school's mascot, the Human Being, and by writing Greendale's new school song.

Character historyEdit

Season OneEdit

Significant episodes:

"Pilot": Pierce misintroduces all the members of the newly formed study group (with the exception of Shirley) to Jeff .

"Spanish 101": Pierce tries to bond with Jeff over a Spanish project they are assigned together.

"Introduction to Film": Pierce teaches Troy how to sneeze like a man.

"Debate 109": Pierce tries to cure Britta of her addiction to cigarettes through hypnotherapy.

"Beginner Pottery": Pierce literally goes overboard in his boating class.

"The Art of Discourse": In a weak attempt to recreate a gag Abed did that had everyone laughing, Pierce depantses Shirley in front of the gang snd they kick him out of the study group.

"English as a Second Language": Pierce sleeps with Doctor Escodera to get her to make the Spanish finals easy.

"Pascal's Triangle Revisited": Pierce invites Troy to live with him in his mansion.

Season TwoEdit

Significant episodes:

"Anthropology 101": Pierce learns that Troy was quoting him on a twitter account called "Old White Man says".

"The Psychology of Letting Go": Pierce's mother dies and his religious belief that her soul is now encased inside a lava lamp has the study group worried about him.

"Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples": Pierce hangs out with a new circle of friends , Leonard and The Hipsters.

"Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas": Pierce and the study group help Abed through a therapy session with Ian Duncan.

"Celebrity Pharmacology 212": Pierce gets Annie to expand his part in an Anti-Drug she is putting on for middle schoolers

"Advanced Dungeons & Dragons": Pierce plays the villain in an RPG game the study group has set up to help Fat Neil.

"Intro to Political Science": Pierce angers Vicki who stabs him with a pencil.

"A Fistful of Paintballs": Pierce's treachery during the paintball competition is revealed and after he is told about a secret vote on his membership in the group he decides to quit.

"For A Few Paintballs More": Pierce saves Greendale by winning the paintball competition and decides to stick with his decision to quit the study group.

Season ThreeEdit

Significant episodes:

"Biology 101": Pierce is welcomed back to the study group while at the same time Jeff finds himself forced out.

"Competitive Ecology": After the other study group members pair off as Biology lab partners, Pierce finds himself the odd man out again having to team up with an outsider named Todd.

"Remedial Chaos Theory": In several timelines Pierce tries to not only tell a story about hooking up with Ertha Kitt on an airplane but also give Troy a housewarming gift, the Norwegian troll doll.

"Advanced Gay": Pierce attempts to launch a new Hawthorne Wipes product for the Gay community but is stopped by his father, Cornelius Hawthorne.

"Studies in Modern Movement": Pierce offers to help Annie fix a broken plug outlet in the apartment she is moving out of so she can keep her deposit.

"Documentary Filmmaking: Redux": Pierce acts like a diva and refuses to participate in a shoot on campus for a new Greendale commercial until his demands are met.

"Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts": Pierce and Shirley go into business together and pitch an idea to Dean Pelton for a new sandwich shop in the cafeteria.

"Digital Exploration of Interior Design" Pierce and Shirley try to use Britta to bring down the student representative of the Subway franchise.

"Pillows and Blankets": While participating in the war between Troy's blanket fort and Abed's pillow fort, Pierce comes up with the ultimate weapon of mass destruction: Pillowman.

"Origins of Vampire Mythology" Pierce tries to become best friends with Ben Chang.

"Course Listing Unavailable": Pierce helps to incite a riot in the cafeteria where a wake for Star-Burns is being held and ends up expelled along with the rest of the study group.

"Digital Estate Planning": Pierce and the study group are forced to play a video game to win his inheritance.

"First Chang Dynsasty": Pierce infiltrates a Chang controlled Greendale dressed as a swami as part of an elaborate plan to rescue Dean Pelton and end Chang's rule.

"Introduction to Finality": Pierce hires Alan Conner to represent him in a case against Shirley for the right to be named sole owner of the sandwich shop.

Class historyEdit

Pierce Hawthorne
Semester	Course	Instructor	Classmates
Fall 2009	Accounting	Professor Whitman	Abed, Annie, Jeff, Shirley, Troy
	Marketing	unknown	possibly Shirley
	Spanish 101	Ben Chang	Abed, Annie, Britta, Buddy, Jeff, Shirley, Star-Burns, Troy
Spring 2010	Sailing	Lee Slaughter	Britta, Shirley, Star-Burns, Troy
Spring 2010	Spanish 102	Ben Chang	Abed, Annie, Britta, Buddy, Jeff, Shirley, Star-Burns, Troy
Fall 2010	Anthropology 101	June Bauer; Ian Duncan	Abed, Annie, Britta, Chang, Jeff, Shirley, Star-Burns, Troy
Spring 2011	Anthropology 102	Ian Duncan	Abed, Annie, Britta, Chang, Fat Neil, Jeff, Rich, Shirley, Star-Burns, Troy, Vicky
Spring 2011	Introduction to Italian Wines	unknown	Chang, Jeff, Wu Mei (not actually enrolled)
Fall 2011	Biology 101	Marshall Kane	Abed, Annie, Britta, Jeff, Magnitude, Shirley, Star-Burns (kicked out), Todd, Troy, Vicky
Spring 2012	Biology	Marshall Kane	Abed, Annie, Britta, Fat Neil (kicked out), Jeff, Magnitude, Shirley, Todd, Troy, Vicki

In the study groupEdit

Pierce joined the Spanish study group to meet new people and to take up his time. He was quite taken by Shirley, and according to her, he was sexually harassing her since the first day, though he didn't really know better. Although he has been the source of a lot of conflict and tension in the group, the others know that he is a very important part of the group because he fulfills the role of a universal scapegoat. Despite the trouble he has caused, he has also assisted others in the group, such as helping Troy to act (and sneeze) more like a man and helping Shirley get over her fear of public speaking. He considers Annie his favorite member of the group. He has also had multiple father-son moments with Jeff, with the roles reversing at times. He was kicked out of the group at one point but eventually returned.

RelationshipsEdit

Due to the time-consuming nature of his job and possibly his own personal attitude, Pierce was married and divorced 7 times. Pierce had a date and ended up sleeping with Dr. Escodera in the first season, but besides those incidents, Pierce made no attempts at finding a girlfriend until he became involved with a rival moist towelette tycoon, Wu Mei. He goes as far as to try and marry her before Jeff reveals she is just spying on him and ruins the relationship. Pierce admits he was just using her for sex as she was just using him to take over his business, but it didn't mean that there weren't good feelings underneath all the using. Jeff redeems himself and brings the two back together for a real date.

He spent most of his time trying to help other members of the group, or sometimes getting back at them. Pierce has fathered around 31 step-children from all of his marriages. He currently doesn't speak to any of his exes or any of his former step-children, and he regrets not ever fully settling down and starting a family. Due to this, Pierce considers all the members of the study group to be his family. He believes that he and Jeff have a father-son dynamic although Pierce himself plays the son role most of the time.

TriviaEdit

Pierce is part of a "Buddhist" Church that the others describe as a cult donning a wizards gown and a cookie wand.
Pierce's favorite movie is Fletch, which stars Chevy Chase. ("[[2]]")
Pierce's name may be a reference to Los Angeles Pierce College, where many scenes in the show are shot.
Pierce's last name may be a reference to the famous professor Hawthorne, due to similiarities in the way of thinking.
Pierce's name may also be a reference to Nathaniel Hawthorne's campaign biography about his friend, Franklin Pierce. Pierce was later said to be the worst president in US history.
Pierce has been going to Greendale for 13 years. Until the study group, he has never remained friends with any of his classmates for more than one semester.
Pierce represents Somalia in Annie's Model UN and considers it to be a "tropical paradise" based on its severely limited government, loose regulations, free trade policies, and lack of gun control.
Pierce never gets invited to the study group's games.
Pierce likes gay jokes.
In the episode “Pillow’s and Blankets” in his medical records it says that his middle name is Cornelius instead of Anatasia, which is Chevy's birth firstname. It also says he was born in 1943 which is the same year Chevy Chase was born in making him 68 or 69.
Pierce followed the Barenaked Ladies, or BNL as they are referred to in the show for a period of time. This is shown in his politician bio in the season two episode Intro to Political Science.