At the beginning of the 2010 fall semester at Greendale, Professor Bauer began her lecture opening with a question about what separated man from animals. When one student flippanty responded "divorce", Bauer shot him with a blow dart which temporarily paralyzed him. It got the classes attention along with her graphic description of the course syllabi. For their first assignment she asked the students to form tribes. The next day she offered her students a sample of a "restorative" drink inspired by the Yogi of India whose ingredients included her urine. After everyone declined, she further elaborated on what each tribe would be doing. They were each given a box with nine different tools and asked to explain which one was most important. When she asked if any student had any questions, Jeff raised his hand.
What separates man from animal?
Instead of a query he surprisingly declared his love for Britta who unexpectedly responded in kind. Bauer expressed her disgust at the cheesy display before taking several sips of her drink. The next day, Bauer reluctantly allowed Jeff to speak to the class again when he volunteered to present the group's assignment. He told everyone that the most important tool was actually respect and without it groups or tribes fall apart. Professor Bauer replied that she had a different opinion. She states that the most important tool is a weapon made up of all the tools. She pointed an assembled one at Jeff and told him to try and defend himself with respect while she attacked him with the weapon. She fired but missed hitting a window .
"I'm going to use this to attack you."
"You use respect to defend yourself."
"I... respect you?"
"That is why you fail!"
The professor then moved in for the kill knocking Jeff down and using the weapon to strangle him. As he passed out, the rest of the study group rushed to his aid and Pierce threw a cup of Bauers urine drink onto his face to revive him. Professor Bauer was suspended for her actions and forced to take a leave of absence ("Anthropology 101"). Professor Bauer was last seen in Mimpousa, Congo. She was discussing the movie "Inception" with two African tribesmen. The elder tribesman was confused by the movie and also wondered why she was speaking in English to him. She explained that the younger tribesman hadn't seen the film yet and she was trying not to spoil it for him ("The Psychology of Letting Go").
“My name is Professor June Bauer. This semester, I will guide you to the very threshold of your humanity where you will lock eyes with the shrieking, blood-drenched, sister-raping beast from which we sprang. You will also have to make a diorama.”— Professor Bauer
“Huh, well that's one answer. Here's the one I had in mind... ”— Professor Bauer