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Russell Borchert

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Staff/Faculty ID
Russell Borchert
Russell Borchert
Portrayed by: Chris Elliot
First appearance: "Basic Story" (seen in a portrait)
Last appearance: "Basic Sandwich"
Date of birth: unknown
Department: Computer science
Position: founder of Greendale/computer professor
Family: unknown

That's so stupid! Only an idiot would think of that! The idiots won! My work here is done.
Russell Borchert reacting to Youtube comments feature

Russell Borchert is the eccentric founder of Greendale Community College. He was a wealthy computer programmer who dedicated himself to creating a machine which could process human emotion. Not long after the community college opened, Borchert disappeared following a bizarre sex scandal. The campus building known as "Borchert Hall" which houses Greendale's Olympic sized swimming pool is named after him. His first appearance is in the Season Five episode "Basic Sandwich". He is portrayed by actor/comedian Chris Elliot.

Character historyEdit

In the 1970's, computer genius Russell Borchert created the 9 track cassette player. The 8 track cassette industry bribed him to prevent it from being manufactured and Russell became a millionaire. In 1974 he used the money to found a technological institute, the "Greendale Computery College". He then began a project to create a computer which could process human emotion. Russell used gold for the circuitry believing it to be a better conductor for emotions. His overt physical displays of affection for the machine he built created a scandal at the school. To spare his institution any embaressment he willingly let Greendale's first Dean seal him and the entire computer lab off from the rest of the campus.

To that end he stockpiled 50 years worth of water, food, toilet paper and cocaine to continue his project in secret while also protecting the schools reputation. During this time he had made some progress getting his machine, now dubbed "Raquel", to respond to certain emotional stimuli. He wired control of his entire lab into the mainframe of his project and continued to tinker with it as decades passed. His self imposed exile ended several decades later when students and faculty of what was now known as "Greendale Community College" entered his lab. His disheveled appearance frightened them at first until a man by the name of Jeff Winger easily subdued him.

They recently learned the truth about his disappearance and found the entrance to his buried computer lab. On the surface, the school was about to be sold to the Subway corporation and they were searching for Borchert's missing fortune to save Greendale. They immediately recognized Raquel from archival film footage they had seen earlier and remembered the gold circuitry it contained. Borchert protested when several of his visitors tried to remove Raquel. Jeff explained that they needed the gold circuitry to save the school and added that it was time for Borchert to let go of Raquel. He pointed out it had already cost him too years of his life and gave nothing back in return.

Another one of the visitors, Annie Edison, argued that taking Raquel away from Borchert would make them just as bad as Subway. Borchert thanked her and told them if it was money they needed he still had several million dollars in a duffel bag. He offered it to them if they would leave him and Raquel be. At that moment, more outsiders showed up and took Raquel hostage. Carl Bladt, Richie Countee and Ben Chang grabbed the bag of money and short circuited Raquel. With her CPU fried the entrance to the lab sealed itself was shut behind the thieves after they left. While Borchert examined Raquel Jeff found a few documents he had which could help them stop the sale of Greendale.

Borchert found that Raquel's emotional components were still intact which he demonstrated by connecting himself to the machine via a headgear peripheral. As Borchert pleasured himself the monitor, which acted as the "face" of Raquel, briefly react. Borchert theorized a larger burst of emotion could reboot the computer which in turn would open the doors. Jeff surprisingly volunteered and told everyone to turn around while he hooked himself up to Raquel. Somehow he managed to generate an explosive amount of emotional energy which easily rebooted Raquel. The lab doors opened and Borchert accompanied the others as they raced to the surface.

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