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Mark Cahill, Kelly Cortlandt, and Scott Waugh were three high schoolers taking a few courses at Greendale Community College for extra credit. After meeting Jeff and Britta, they relentlessly ridicule them and called them "Shmitty" whenever they encountered them at school. Jeff and Britta decide on an unorthodox plan to stop their taunting. Their first and only appearance was in the Season One episode "Art Of Discourse". They are portrayed by actors Dean Colins (Scott), Jillian Rose Reed (Kelly), and Jared Kusnitz (Mark).
|The three high school students were in the cafeteria when they overheard Jeff and Britta talking about her new cat and Jeff getting excited over receiving a good grade in his Nutrition class. They introduced themselves to the pair at first feigning respect; they then dropped the facade and openly mocked them for attending community college at their age. They then annoyingly continued to taunt the pair whenever they run into them on campus. Their preferred insult of choice is to call them "Shmitty", a term that even the normally clueless Pierce immediately understood meant "loser". After several failed attempts to get back at them, Jeff and Britta decided that the only way to shut them up is to have Jeff sleep with Mark's mom, Chantelle.
|The teens run across Jeff canoodling with Chantelle in the cafeteria and expose Jeff and Britta's plan to her. Chantelle stopped snuggling with Jeff and angrily told him off. Jeff decides he's had enough and challenged Mark to a taunting competition; this eventually devolves into all three teens and Jeff with Britta yelling "DUH" at each other repeatedly. After twelve minutes, Jeff and Britta start to lose steam, and the teens are on the verge of winning. Pierce and Shirley jump in and decide to come to their rescue. They depants Mark and Kelly, stopping them from taunting. Jeff and Britta "win" the "competition" by default with Mark's mother Chantelle embarrassed that they were all "pwned". The teens then decided to start a food fight in the cafeteria to get even ("The Art of Discourse").
|During the food fight, hints of the teenagers' future are shown. Eventually, Kelly Cortland becomes a Professor of Sociology, Scott Waugh becomes a Michigan Supreme Court Justice, and Mark Cahill becomes a doctor (although it's stated that his medical license ends up being revoked, and he goes missing afterwards).|
- “Seriously Nutrition, this is your life?”— Mark Cahill
- “Actually, I was a lawyer.”— Jeff
- “Looks like that went well.”— Mark Cahill
- “OH MY GOD! Is she wearing a Discman?!”— Mark Cahill
- “How could you do this to me!”— Jeff
- “What? Discman's are retro!”— Britta
- “Is retro when you're thirty and broke and can't afford an iPod? SHMITTY!”— Mark Cahill
- “A-DUH!!!”— High Schoolers